BEAUTY MOST BEASTLY

Is it really possible to morph from this to this with cosmetic surgery?

Without having any concern for this?

WE LOVE THE ROLLER-BLADING PENSIONER

At ELIXIR magazine we love rollerblading pensioner Geoff Dornan.

He is the fantastically fit septuggenarian who was fined by a UK court for 'endangering the public' by skating through a shopping mall.

We at ELIXIR think Mr Dornan should be given an award. At the age of 71 years he skated with respect to others, unlike others half his age. We assume the only reason he was caught because he did respect the law and stopped when he was asked.

The retired youth worker, who says regular skating keeps him fit and healthy, had now had his rollerblades confiscated by police.

The truth is that the rather large people in our community are far more of a danger. For example, how many times has a public bus braked abruptly and the huge person next to you come dangerously near to squashing the nearest passenger.

Mr Dornan, who now has a 2,075-person Facebook group devoted to him, was rollerblading in the seaside town of Southport, Merseyside and CCTV footage from a Marks and Spencer camera recorded in October 2008.

Outside court Mr Dornan said: 'In the months during which I have been unjustly deprived of my blades, I was shocked to discover how swiftly the health of someone of my age can deteriorate.
'At the time of my arrest, I was as fit as a flea, and entirely free of pain. Yet by Christmas, I found myself confined to bed with severe back trouble.'

He added: "I would never want to put anybody in danger and always adopt a good skating practice, which means nobody should ever feel threatened. I don't believe I'm a danger to anyone. This case should never have been brought to court.'

We have all seen people, mostly young men in my experience, cycling on public pavements even past policemen who take no notice. Since most policemen and women on foot appear to be overweight maybe if they were given some rollerblades they might not only get fit but also be fast enough to catch the real criminals rather than OAPs?